Through The Door
by Ellementry
Summary: She slowly sank to the ground and without realising, began to cry. She finally had him back, Sirius was alive and not in her dreams. And she had ruined it within hours.


She was now standing in the middle of a familiar small and shabby square. Tall, dilapidated houses looked down on them from every side. Number twelve was visible and she rushed toward it, checking every few yards that she was not being followed or observed. She raced up the stone steps, and Holly tapped the front door once with her wand. She heard a series of metallic clicks and the clatter of a chain, then the door swung open with a creak and she hurried over the threshold.

As Holly closed the door behind her, the old-fashioned gas lamps sprang into life, casting flickering light along the length of the hallway.

She frowned slightly as she looked in on the hall. Eerie and cobwebbed, the outlines of the house-elf heads on the wall threw odd shadows up on staircase.

Her green eyes widened, there was the troll's leg umbrella stand lying on its side.

She shut the door behind her and looked on at the hallway in front of her. She had Vanished the troll leg, the house-elf heads had been the first to go after she took up restoring the house. She glanced around and saw a light coming from upstairs.

On the landing she whispered, "Lumos," and started to climb the stairs by wandlight.

She reached the topmost landing, facing the two doors. The room with the nameplate reading SIRIUS, a light emitting from beneath the crack of the door. Holding her wand high, she whispered "Nox" and the light immediately disappeared and she opened the door.

The spacious room was the same as she remembered it from years before, the chandelier with candle stubs still resting in its sockets, the walls plastered with posters and pictures that covered the silvery-gray silk.

"Holly?" a ghost whispered.

It was definitely a ghost.

Holly was sure about it and there was no doubt in her mind. A ghost was standing in front of her, breathing in front of her. She had had this hallucination before. When she woke up he would be dead again.

"Holly, why are you here? You should be in school."

_And you should be dead._ "Sirius." She whispered.

"Holly. You are trembling. What's happened."

He moved towards her, his sharp grey eyes piercing her, looking through her. "You look like you've seen a ghost"

Her hand moved involuntarily towards him, and touched his cheek. His eyes looked into hers curiously as her hand caressed his cheek and felt his warmth. _He was alive. _She threw caution to the wind and flung her arms around him, holding him so tight and she nearly died herself when she felt his arms around her tighten. His breath felt warm against her neck. _He was there. _

"Holly, what's going on." His voice was strange, constricted. He held her tightly, his arms feeling very real, and he moved to her in front of himself, his face in front of hers.

Tears were streaming down her face and he moved to wipe them off.

She feels warm and tingly from head to foot; just like she always had when they had touched, _before he died_.

Her body responded with some kind of primal hunger for affection contact and she wanted him to touch her so badly that she's embarrassed by it; she's conscious of the hot tears coursing down her face; she could hardly breathe, the room was starting to spin and her knees beginning to feel weak. She slumped against Sirius and she felt his arms come around her, and for the first time in conscious memory, Holly feels herself being lifted off her fee and carried, cradled against his chest, his arms clutching her so tightly that breathing is a little difficult. But she didn't mind; she clung to him while Sirius holds her tightly and carries her to her bedroom.

He lets go of her until she is sitting on the bed beside him and then stands up and begins to pace around the room. The longer she watches him pacing the room, she realises that he is in front of her, breathing in front of her.

She stands up and takes a few steps toward him along the wall of the room and before she's even halfway across the room Sirius turns and catches her by the shoulders. She takes a startled step backwards into the wall and Sirius holds her at arm's length, gazing intently upon her face.

"Holly." He whispers. She breathed in and took in the faint smell of fire whisky on his breath.

They stood there in silence for a moment, Holly with her back to a wall and Sirius holding her there, not moving away. His hand unclenches, releasing her shoulder. The backs of his knuckles grazing the side of her neck, his fingers extend to brush a lock of hair away and Holly leans into his hand closing her eyes.

She can feel his breath, hot against her face, but she doesn't open her eyes until she feels his lips touching hers.

Her eyes opened in a flash and she felt her body go rigid, not in alarm but in reaction to the strangeness.

He breaks the kiss and she can see his eyes, brighter than she had ever remembered before. He smiled sadly at her and she feels relief, her body relaxing, still pinned against the wall and his very warm body. She smiled back uncertainly at him.

"You are here." She said.

He looked at her hesitantly, his gray eyes felt like they were looking right through her. His hand was still in her hair, his body still pressed against her, their breaths mingling together. His other hand runs down the side of her body and clasps the jut of her hip.

And then he is kissing her again, and this time it's different, like nothing she's ever done before. Sirius sucking her lower lip between his, then his tongue, searching the inside of her mouth, and her entire body is on fire, but her chest is tight, she can't breathe—

She felt dizzy and breathless so she pulled away briefly from him – only to gasp when Sirius leaned forward and kissed her again refusing to stop. Suddenly her coat slid behind her, pooling at her feet.

She allowed him to press her further against the wall – shivering when the cold surface touched her warm back. Holly was so caught up with his kiss that she didn't notice his warm hand intently grazing her thigh. His hand continued to graze up her leg and grip at her hips under her dress. In fact she was so caught up in his kissing that she suddenly realised that she was no longer on her feet. Sirius had lifted her up and was now supporting her with his arms, pinned against the wall and urging her to wrap her legs around his waist.

Without thinking she complied. She felt his hands on her back and heard the zip of her dress go down as he continued to kiss her. He broke their kiss as he lifted her higher and her dress slipped down, sliding so easily down her body. She wrapped her legs around his waist so he carried her backwards in his arms after that, laying her gently onto the soft bed.

"Incendio." His voice seemed distant to Holly, like it wasn't really there. The fireplace became a roaring fire in seconds, lighting the room in a soft orange glow. He positioned himself on top of her smaller frame and pressed his lips against hers, his hips pressed against hers. She felt his hand caress her cheek as she kept her eyes closed, fearful that if she opened them, he would be gone again. She didn't think she could bare it.

A tear leaked from the corner of her eye and Sirius kissed it away, trailing back to her lips. His robes and her undergarments were the next to disappear, discarded into a nearby corner. The feeling of his lean naked body against her own, their kisses felt like liquid fire, continuing deeper into a blissful fight for dominance.

He started trailing kisses from her mouth, now her neck, and her shoulder to collar bone. She gasped and her eyes flew open when his mouth met her breast. Her whole body seemed to blush when his tongue brushed against her nipple.

"Sirius." She said in a breathless, shaky whisper and she felt him urging her legs apart with his knee and positioning himself right between them.

Her eyes clenched shut even tighter when she felt him grinding slowly against her, their warm bodies flush against each other.

She heard him groan, it was deep, guttural. His hands where everywhere, exploring her skin and making her shiver when he traced his hand down her body, stroking along the flat skin of her stomach.

He kissed her deeply on the lips again, battling his tongue while she felt his hand trailing down and grabbing the back of her knee firmly. He yanked her leg up, pressing their bodies intimately together until she could feel his length pressing into her entrance.

Sirius kissed her again, yanking her leg up even higher and finally, burying himself completely in her in one deep thrust, causing her to cry out and dig her nails into his back.

He was thrusting hard and fast and deeply into her body beneath him, surprising her at the sheer _force_of his lust for her.

"Don't leave me." She closed her eyes again tightly as tears leaked down from her eyes, rolling slowly down her cheek. Sirius leaned down and kissed the tears away, one by one, and she felt him pressing himself even deeper into her.

He leaned down to kiss her again, entangling their tongues together and using the added leverage to press her down onto the bed so he could penetrate her even deeper.

She arched against him and wrapped both of her legs eagerly around his waist, moaning softly as he pulled away and she felt his teeth grazing along the skin of her neck. Long agile fingers teased along her skin relentlessly and began yanking her body against his to meet each of his thrusts.

His hands were _everywhere_.

Everything soon went by in one muddled blur, the atmosphere of the bedroom filled with nothing else but the sounds of the bed rustling in time with his thrusts and her soft moans, her nails digging deep into his back and his lips felt like sin as they roamed her body but Holly was lost to reality now – merely staring up at the ceiling above her with wide, hazy green eyes.

She felt the beginning of intense pleasure building up slowly from the lower part of her body and a harsh gasp escaped her again, heightened when Sirius had taken both of her hands from where they were scraping his back and pinned them down onto the bed with his own.

It was then that she felt the rest of her senses go hazy with emotions and mind-numbing lust. She met his trusts with her whole body, her hands were tangled in his long black hair and she lost herself in the feeling of his body. His hair under her fingers, his breath mingled with hers. Her mouth open in a silent pleasure-filled scream.

She came just seconds before he did, and the minute she felt her own choked-up scream throttled effectively within their intertwined lips, Sirius clenched his eyes shut and jerked inside her one last time.

Holly woke up quite suddenly.

Sirius was still there, snoring softly behind her, an arm draped over her abdomen. She could still smell the fire whisky mixed with his cologne.

Her mind had barely began to process things, the night before was evident. Her lips felt swollen from his kisses, her muscles ached unfamiliarly.

She glanced over at Sirius, lying stomach down with an arm thrown over her; she could see where her nails had trailed down his back. She wandlessly summoned her wand and whispered Incendio, the fire started again in the fireplace and emitted that same orange glow like last night.

She hears Sirius breathing, ragged and harsh. When Sirius says her name, she could hear his voice shaking.

"I never…oh merlin…" His face crumpled slowly. "Holly."

Holly shivered at the haunted expression on his face and pure _horror_ she saw in his eyes. She grabbed the sheet between them and wrapped herself in it.

"What are you doing here Holly. What …." Sirius sat up sharply and started running his hands through his hands, pulling and tugging at the end painfully.

He looked as though he was barely able to breathe as he glared at her. His eyes filling rapidly with tears and his face flushing with angry.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE HOLLY!" He roared and got out of the bed quickly, like the bed was on fire.

"You were dead." She uttered in a soft, shaky whisper. "YOU DIED! AND YOU WERE GONE! You left me and you promised you never would!"

He took a shallow inhale of breath and his expression burned into her. "What have we done…." He starts to take a step back, nearing tripping over his haste.

Instinct launces her forward and makes her throw her arms around his neck, but he grabs her arms before she can, painfully holding them in between them.

"Its okay." She whispered, "It's okay Sirius. I didn't say no." She found herself muttering. "It's okay…"

His hands were strong and she could feel bruises forming on her wrists. He looks so horror struck, so broken. He continued to stare at her, his eyes looking confused by her words.

"Sirius. You're hurting me." His hands where holding her wrists so tightly. The tears pooling in her eyes, she was

He threw her arms away, and with one last burning, haunted look in his eyes, he left the room leaving Holly, alone, just like she always had been.

She slowly sank to the ground and without realising, began to cry. She finally had him back, Sirius was alive and not in her dreams.

And she had ruined it within hours.

Her body was at war with itself, her mind racing, her skin tingling. In a flash she saw herself kissing him from last night, and it was like the world was tilted. She could see herself pinned against the wall, his hands holding her there.

She shook her head as if to shake the memory out of her head.

Holly puts her clothes on slowly, her tears slowly stopping.

She puts a mask on and picks her wand again and braces for what's coming.


End file.
